Wednesday, April 11, 2012
"Dig a hole and bury it."
It's 11 PM and I cannot sleep so I have decided that blogging is the next best option; It has certainly been a while since I've done it. I am reflecting on the one on one "interview" I had tonight with one of the CCO leaders, if you even want to call it an interview. This weekend, I am participating in a Cross Cultural Orientation, a weekend of training for those considering Mission work through the Church of the Nazarene. Since I am going to be on the field for a year, I am required to participate; however, it is more than training, but an awesome time for reflection and community with others at different walks of life, all who are answering the Call.
We have covered so many things this weekend, including travel safety, self-evaluation (the peer mentor in me was going crazy!), culture shock, and the Nazarene Network. I have even added a ton more acronyms to my Nazarene vocabulary (try to imagine how that could even be possible)! We also participated in a few activities to really get us thinking about cultural awareness, leadership, and teamwork. [[For everyone who was at the Amazing Race in Lake Placid, I got my payback from other "government officials" this weekend. Fortunately for me, they weren't as tough as I was on yall :) ]] These activities were fun, but really allowed us to reflect on real conflicts we will face on the field.
My one on one time with Greg wasn't as scary as I was expecting. There were no trick questions, no tough scenarios to tumble through - just good, honest conversation. I cannot express how comforting it is to sit down with someone who genuinely wants to know what God is doing in my life and offers just as much conversation as listening. I felt comfortable enough to become vulnerable and express some questions and concerns I had, even one that I have been struggling with for a few months now. "Dig a hole and bury it. Leave it here when you get on that plane."
I am going to Bulgaria to do God's work. Leaving behind my ideas and my plans is not easy, but that is just extra baggage to weigh me down and keep my hands full when i should be using them for the Lord's work. The mission of the Church of the Nazarene is To make Christlike disciples in the nations -- What God is looking for is disciple-makers. That is me. It can be me if I put myself aside and commit myself to his work each day.
I am thankful for this time to learn more about myself and the church I serve. I am confident that I have made the right choice and that God is talking to me through others, which is so assuring.
-Vera
Back to Bulgaria
Hello,
I hope that you are reading this because you are interested in participating in this journey with me. I cannot express how excited and extremely bless I am to have such an amazing support system of family, friends, and mentors next to me.. I promise that without you, I would not be at this point in my life. I have received so much loving support urging me to pursue different paths, ultimately leading me to take this huge leap of faith, the next chapter of my life.
Our chapel theme this year at Trevecca has been Reconciliation, which has been very fitting for me. This year, my senior year of college, is one that has changed me spiritually and academically, which are more related than you might expect. This year is situated between my summer abroad and my year-long missionary assignment, both in Vidrare, Bulgaria.
During my three months in Vidrare last summer, I was able to see reconciliation actually play itself out. I say actually because as a Social Justice major, I hear, read, talk, learn about reconciliation at least weekly. It is one of those things you can talk about all you want, but the true power comes with experience.
As Christians, we talk all the time about being a light in the darkness. It is something we say we strive for, yet many of us prefer to remain in our comfort zones, surrounded by light. Darkness is scary. It is unknown, unpredictable, and uncomfortable, which is what makes that step of faith so powerful. In order to be effective, we must first allow God to work on us, which is where I am right now. I know that this year is not going to be easy, three months was not easy, but I am trying to prepare myself for what may come. It would be so easy to attempt this journey on my own, but I wouldn't make it very far.
I have had to come to terms that i did not to go Bulgaria to save Bulgaria, but to be a part of what God is and has always been doing in Bulgaria. I had to get over the idea that my leaving meant taking all hope with me. We are called to partner with God, not to be God. It has been hard to be at peace knowing the people I left behind are still in God's hands even though I am not there. I know that he is still there, working in each of their lives and caring for them in their time of need.
I believe that God sent me to Bulgaria with a Mission. I still cannot claim to know what it is, other than to simply love his people; however, I am simply keeping an open heart, actively seeking him and listening for his voice.
Again, thank you so much for your interest in what God is doing in my life right now.
-Vera
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven's joys, O bright Heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O Ruler of all.
I hope that you are reading this because you are interested in participating in this journey with me. I cannot express how excited and extremely bless I am to have such an amazing support system of family, friends, and mentors next to me.. I promise that without you, I would not be at this point in my life. I have received so much loving support urging me to pursue different paths, ultimately leading me to take this huge leap of faith, the next chapter of my life.
Our chapel theme this year at Trevecca has been Reconciliation, which has been very fitting for me. This year, my senior year of college, is one that has changed me spiritually and academically, which are more related than you might expect. This year is situated between my summer abroad and my year-long missionary assignment, both in Vidrare, Bulgaria.
During my three months in Vidrare last summer, I was able to see reconciliation actually play itself out. I say actually because as a Social Justice major, I hear, read, talk, learn about reconciliation at least weekly. It is one of those things you can talk about all you want, but the true power comes with experience.
As Christians, we talk all the time about being a light in the darkness. It is something we say we strive for, yet many of us prefer to remain in our comfort zones, surrounded by light. Darkness is scary. It is unknown, unpredictable, and uncomfortable, which is what makes that step of faith so powerful. In order to be effective, we must first allow God to work on us, which is where I am right now. I know that this year is not going to be easy, three months was not easy, but I am trying to prepare myself for what may come. It would be so easy to attempt this journey on my own, but I wouldn't make it very far.
I have had to come to terms that i did not to go Bulgaria to save Bulgaria, but to be a part of what God is and has always been doing in Bulgaria. I had to get over the idea that my leaving meant taking all hope with me. We are called to partner with God, not to be God. It has been hard to be at peace knowing the people I left behind are still in God's hands even though I am not there. I know that he is still there, working in each of their lives and caring for them in their time of need.
I believe that God sent me to Bulgaria with a Mission. I still cannot claim to know what it is, other than to simply love his people; however, I am simply keeping an open heart, actively seeking him and listening for his voice.
Again, thank you so much for your interest in what God is doing in my life right now.
-Vera
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven's joys, O bright Heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O Ruler of all.
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